Sunday, November 9, 2008

Something Seems Different... Did We Have An Election?

I have to say that I am EXTREMELY disappointed with certain facets of this election. For example, that people kept talking about it. And they're not stopping.

To quote Dave Ramsey: "Breathe, people."

I'm also very upset with, because I made it to late evening of November fifth without finding out who won the election, and I wanted to make it a week. Unfortunately, I went to Audible to buy a book with a coupon, and on their front page they had a free download: McCain's concession speech, and Obama's Acceptance speech. Of course I didn't download it, but now I knew the results.

Two words about this election: WHO CARES???

For my election coverage, here's a piece I stole in its entirety (Well, I may have obfuscated it a little)from another site... but since this is all over the place it seems silly to credit them:


A Major Research Institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium. Governmentium has 1 executive neutron, 21 assistant cabinet neutrons, 100 deputy senatorial neutrons, and 435 assistant representational deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 557. These 557 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.


- Trevor
Battle Creek, MI

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